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#4143
jenny t
Participant

Thank you to everyone posting words of strength to me. It really helps.
But I Thought I was doing ok and then boom, tears start again. Going through this is awful,
I then thought Jenny pull yourself together and get your finances sorted. The mess my ex has left me in, I was looking at taking out one big loan to consolidate my debt and make month to month more manageable but I feel a bit stuck. My ex ripped off so many loan companies and applied to tons of companies and all in my address. I have letters still coming to the house saying debt collectors will be in touch. I will gladly tell them where to find my ex or give them his parents details as the debt he owes is not my problem, What I am wondering is if I apply for a loan, and it is one of the companies he has not paid, will this affect me getting this or being refused as my address will have been used by my ex before and probably on more than one occasion?
I am anxious to apply incase I get told No as i have an excellent credit rating and my own bank have already told me they would give me a loan but their rates of interest are not the best on the market. I am stuck. Do I apply for a better loan but risk getting told NO because of my ex, does his CG affect me? do I go with my bank even though its not the best but at least I can sort out my financial mess.Why is it that I feel I cant make a decision today. I didnt sleep well last night so that doesnt help. I hate the mess my exhas left me with. How dare he do this to me again.
I am also not sure what to do about my ex too as he still has a key to my house. He has had opportunities to give this back to me but he is still holding onto this,I have asked him and I get excuses. I don’t trust him and sometimes I think, what if he comes to my house when I am out or is that a risk for him? I then think, no he wouldnt do that but then I never thought he would become aggressive, threaten to call my work as he’s paranoid, or even threaten suicide so who knows what he will do.
I have thought about getting my locks changed but then get angry as I think why should I have more expense and money I dont have. I have even thought i could maybe switch the barrels from my front door to back door as this may work and then if he ever tried the front door it wouldnt work. I guess though the best solution would be to get my key back but how do you do that with an irritational, deluded man at the moment. Oh I don’t know what I am meant to do today. I am determined his addiction wont have me beat but it is wearing me down as simple things like applying for a loan even feels huge today.
Maybe I am just tired. Any advice would be appreciated.