Welcome to these forums. That’s a difficult situation to be in. I applaud you for your efforts in maintaining your finances/the family structure during this difficult time. I think you need to lay down an ultimatum. You’ve done everything in your power to help your husband overcome this addiction and you’ve shown a level of support and commitment that many other spouses may not have been able to give. It’s time for your partner to man up and actually commit to stopping forever. If he trult loves you and cares for your family he should know that this gamble (your marriage and the kids) is one he is NOT willing to take. If he really cannot get past his demons then you ultimately need to protect your own interests as well as those of your kids, which means making that tough decision.