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It’s only 3:00 in the morning on Friday here. I just woke up. Can’t seem to fall back asleep. A little irritated because my girlfriends in NO sent me some pics on Facebook. I know (i hope) they do not mean anything bad by it BUT come on I am sad enough that I can not be there so why rub it in. At the same time I am glad I am not ther because I know in the end I would of lost a fortune. I will go back someday but with my other 1/2 who does not gamble and would keep me away from casino. Day 22. I will not gamble today. I am glad I am banned from the local casino or I most likely would have caved by now. I want to gamble but I do not want to experience the fall out. I am really starting to fear the end result and that’s a good thing. Today I will surrender my will to God,