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Hi ya Craig

I hope you’ve got a plan in place to protect your wages this month mate. It’s a lot easier to “stay strong” when your pockets and bank account is empty.

Have you told or considered telling your girlfriend how bad things are for you with regards to gambling? Maybe she could keep hold of your bank card for a few weeks.

I’ve been a CG for over 30 years Craig and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that, to me, the FOBT’s expedite this addiction like nothing else I’ve known.

My story is well documented in my previous posts so to cut a very long story a lot shorter; I had been to prison 4 times by the the time I was 25 all for thieving or deception, all the money to fund gambling in bookies, casinos and card schools. I had sort of had my fill of it and although I did still gamble like a lunatic I was reluctant to cross the line again and risk getting banged up again. I avoided casinos like the plague and went to the bookies once or twice a month if that, and I never seemed to loose too much control although in reality I must have done because I always lost too much money.

I went through a great spell when I hadn’t been in a bookies for about 18 months, this was about 2003/04. One night I tried an online casino and before I knew it I had emptied 3 bank accounts. I couldn’t wait for the bank to open so I could deposit more cash, (I was a taxi driver at the time I had the last 3 or 4 weeks takings in my safe).

To cut this short version of a long story even shorter; I came to my senses before the bank opened, I don’t think self exclusion was an option then but in any event I had decided that if I could get into that much trouble sitting in front of my computer in my own home and it was “making” me get to the stage I was dripping in sweat with the anticipation of getting money into the bank to gamble with then the computer had to go.

I took it to a second hand shop and sold it. As I came out of the shop I picked a fare up and he asked what I had been doing in the second hand shop. I told him, and I told him why. He told me about the FOBT’s and within few months Craig I was back in prison for committing a very serious fraud.

I cant say that the FOBTs turn people into CG’s (although I think that they do), but I know to a CG they are a quick fire way to rock bottom and beyond.

If whats left of your salary starts burning a hole in your pocket today, please think to yourself before it gets the better of you. Ask yourself “whats the worst thing that’ll happen if I dont get to the bookies?”

Craig, in early recovery, especially the early days our mindset changes so very quickly when we’ve had nowt in our pockets.

In the title of your thread you say “Need this to be over” Indeed you do, its no good just acknowledging that fact. Do you really want it to be over, if you do then you won’t gamble today. There is a huge difference between needing and wanting.

If you have to post every half hour to keep your mind off it then please do for your own sake, there is also live help available.

Look after yourself today mate, you just have to do what you’ve done the last 6 days, that is not to gamble, its not that hard is it.

All the best.