I certainly have plenty more to learn in the communication department so no I am not communicating the way I should (I think thats what you are asking) and I am wholeheartedly listening when he talks to me but this is a rare thing, I don’t have to work very hard at it because it isn’t happening regularly. I am listening to myself and hearing it but it is hard for me to implement.
The information that put me between a rock and a hard place requires a bit of back story so I’m sorry if this is long and drawn out. I have long since known about the gambling issue itself and have not “officially”found anything that leads me to believe he has relapsed. When he originally came clean to me about his financial troubles related to gambling I was put in charge of the finances (we are not legally married but we may as well be for this purpose) in an effort to put me in charge I was given a list of all login info for any sort of financial accounts online such as the bank account, credit card accounts etc. In this process I was NOT given the login info for one particular account used for credit purposes (it lists accounts, debt and an estimated credit score). But I am able to log in to this website because all of his usernames and passwords are about the same so I figured it out.
So, one day I tried to log in to one of his Credit card accounts and was locked out, i asked him why and he said he had to reset the password, ok, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him a day or two to resolve it. He kept saying he had to call, now this was about a month or so ago. In the mean time by logging into the credit reporting site I discovered he had not only applied for a new credit card, gotten approved for it, and maxed it out. None of which he told me. This new card is with the same old company he already has one with. Now if I had been able to log in to this company I would have seen it right away which is why I think he has failed to rectify the login issue with the account. I also found the new card in his wallet. Now because he technically did not give me the login info for the credit reporting site I never would have found this info had I not been snooping. I’ve tried to get him to simply tell me about the card by bringing the website login up multiple times to no avail.
As for your other questions, he had been attending GA with me for awhile but has not attended in a couple of weeks. I support him and “remind” him of which meetings are in session on any given night but he’s always “too tired” or “not feeling well” So I go alone and enjoy my reprieve but wish he would make more of an effort in his own recovery.