Why, oh why does it take me so long to wake up to things. I always think the best in everyone and give people more chances than I should. It’s something I’ve always done. I don’t consider myself a soft touch but something must be wrong somewhere along the lines.

So … I told him outright that I did not want to talk about money/gambling with him again and if he started I would end the conversation. And I did for a few weeks, I was strong. He continued to gamble and by all accounts won. I think he has an antenna when my defences are down. He phones and txts when I am at work. Tells me he has lost the works money and the boss is going to the police. He tells me he cant go to jail. I tell him to man up and face his boss. I give him the money to save him from going to jail. He gambles it. I tell him to face his boss, he says he does and is shocked when he is not fired and given a second chance. I bail him out again. It all goes quiet.
Yesterday he’s on the phone again, he’s gambled his wages and the works money again. He doesn’t know why he’s doing it. HE TELLS ME HE THINKS HE HAS A BRAIN TUMOUR. Bells ring loud and clear. I don’t give in this time, he can go to jail. I am done. I have a sleeping tumour and we are waiting for a treatment plan for mouth cancer for my partner and my cg comes out with that!

I know its the addiction talking. It makes me feel sick. He’s a sad human being. He won’t accept professional help. There comes a time when boundaries are crossed and he’s crossed it. I wouldn’t wish cancer on anybody. It’s a cruel disease.