Thanks, Sean, Kin , Lizbeth.
I feel calmer. Less overwhelmed. I’m dealing with the foreboding that haunted me for weeks.The fog is clearing.
I’m re entering reality slowly and beginning to connect with people again.
Being self excluded means I am less inclined to be tempted to “try my luck”.
There are of course lots of “First World” issues that would be nice to escape from. A few hours in the G zone has been my escape in the past , but the issues would be magnified, not solved, by gambling.
I need to keep a clear head. I’m making lists. The countdown to Christmas starts tomorrow-shopping lists, final presents to be wrapped, cards written, baking, cooking, preparing food in advance. All the things “normal” people do at Christmas and most importantly for me is the Spiritual preparation, which is the real reason for all the hustle and bustle.
I never have time to gamble at Christmas so the message is when we are busily focused on other things , gambling won’t enter our minds.
Today was a proactive day.
I have every day planned from now until Christmas.
No plans to gamble.
Standing at the check out in shops is less scary when you know your card won’t be declined.
I never again want to put myself through the hell I lived through for the last six months.
It is never worth risking life and limb “just for kicks”.
I pray that I have outgrown this addiction.
I can’t bear to waste another minute of my life performing acts of self torture .
I’m tired!
