Okay – let us look at what you are saying:
“I just can’t live with the regret of having spent so much money, and deep down I know I don’t have any control or limits.”
But you are living with that regret – you are coping, you are functioning. The regret can be replaced with optimism for the future – once you start addressing your problems. Also you have admitted that you have a gambling problem. A great first step – but you need to go further and address this. Read the other stories here – of long-term debt, bankruptcy. suicide attempts, prison, homelessness … is that what you want?
“In my country or at least in my social circle, mental health is not yet openly talked about.”
You don’t need to talk about it. You do need to act. If you go to a doctor / counsellor / GA it will be confidential.
This is your future – you need to start taking control of it.
“only crazy people do counselling”
Crazy is just a word … it means nothing. Replace it with “only hurting people do counselling” or “only people who care enough about themselves and their mental health do counselling.” “only people who want a positive future for themselves do counselling.”
You are making out that your country does not support people with problems and yet you have already told us that GA and counselling does exist there. The resources are there to be used – but only you can do this – it is all in your hands.
“You’re such an inspiration to me, a proof that it’s possible to stay away from this gambling world.”
But I didn’t get to this point without doing some hard work. I talked to helplines, went to meetings, sat in counselling rooms, took self-improvement classes. I put as much effort (if not more) into my recovery as I put into my gambling. It was an all out assault to defeat this behaviour. Don’t just use me as inspiration – use me as a role model for what you can do to change your behaviour and start leading a gamble free life.
After you have read this post – pick up the phone – talk to someone, a counsellor, a GA member, your doctor, a helpline and take that next step. I look forward to reading about it in your next post.