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Lizbeth ,
Many people find it hard to admit when they are wrong – I guess it’s a character fault – or maybe a defence mechanism- because to admit it once might open the floodgates – and perhaps we would have to admit to ourselves how we have failed as mothers or in other relationships .
Sometimes I feel like that – I can’t bear to think about how my gambling has affected my son- but I know it has but if I allowed myself to go there -I don’t know if I could stop the guilt . It sounds like your mother knows only too well deep down but can’t face the whole truth.
I think our biggest failure as parents is not to protect our children,but I guess sometimes we don’t recognise the danger.
It sounds like your mother needed her relationships just like we needed gambling – the dream of something better perhaps .
I am Really only rambling- trying to make sense of it .
I know however , that your mother being nasty is far more honest that those mothers who set themselves up as holier that thou – she must have her pain too. Perhaps her own childhood left her unable to express love appropriately .
I don’t know – but I do know of a little girl and boy who are blessed to have a loving grandmother like you .
I wish u would come to some groups – it sos much easier to talk there