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#35309
Monica1
Participant

Thanks for your kindness in your posts. I appreciate it. The two partners I spent about 14 years with each have or had a problem with weed. It seems to mellow them in some way. With me it sends me bonkers so I never do it. Found that out in my teens. Odd that one mans mellower is literally someone else’s poison. Just like cigarettes are bad for everyone, including me, weed is really bad for us too. I worked in mental Heath for 5 years and saw the psychosis it seemed to induce in susceptible folks. I also noticed that withdrawal from it used to induce aggression and anger. Just my observation really having had partners who indulged. I agree with I did it that I think you would make a great sponsor and with 1 years clean time I think you can do that. You must be close to that. I get what you are saying about talking and talking and not healing, I am very wary of that too and have told my sponsor I do not want to get stuck in pain, like people who are in therapy for many years but are still stuck. I accept that for now this is a painful experience for me, probably because before gambling even though I had had cancer, and was recovering, my career and earning potential were doing very well. My finances were in great shape and my debts today would have been paid off five times over. The path if I had not gambled would have been very different. I know this. That hurts for all of us I think. But we have to get over that. It hits us from time to time, it certainly does with me, particularly as on my last binge I cleared out my bank account. But I was what I would call very emotionally sick at that point and had had enough. I know that you have suffered a lot with physical pain. I think that when you have been in physical pain, as I was initially wth the stomach ulcer, you begin to really appreciate not being in pain. This week I have to write about how gambling has affected my health, both mental and physical. I expect we would both have quite a lot to write about that. Idi and I are on here quite a lot as we need the support right now. O e and join us in open group one time.