I have many addictions and I need to work on my primary addiction first.
My primary addiction is alcohol and slot machine, I would have more than a year clean time in both after Christmas this year. I last drank on Christmas last year. I have not done slot for a longer period of time.
I heard a message in my head today that it is time to be honest and work on my secondary addiction next, these are addiction that is also giving me problem and affecting my life. They are football betting and food. If I stay stop. I am sure I will lose another 10 kg in weight and improve my health. I am sure I will have more saving in the new year.
There are others such as my work, porn and sex, internet surfing but I can work on them later.
This is a comfortable pace, I am doing more now. Beside working and caring for the family, I am working on my recovery at the same time. I have stop alcohol and slot, now I need stop others one at a time. There is a sense of sadness here, it took me so many years to realize this, so many years of trying plus trial and error due to my foolishness, ignorant, stubborness and self-righteousness.
I am one of the chosen one to walk this path and this is my journey and story. I knew that I have made progress, it maybe very slow but it is progress. I am glad and grateful to accept what it given me.
It can be worst in my case, imagine watering the seed in the ground for years and years and nothing come out of the ground at all. I would be wondering what is wrong and become very lost. I will have no sense of direction in recovery.
This journey is long, I will always be work in progress.
I have hope, when I get another new place, I can go back to my school day hobby of keeping gold fish and when I am retired, maybe I can learn how to play guitar.