Tonight I’ve been invited to Mr on/off’s house for dinner, corned beef hash..and no doubt further discussion. …which is just as well as the cupboards are bare in this house due to all my money going on slots. The one slot I haven’t been putting anything into lately is my own mouth!
I’ve decided that I’m going to ask him to be my financial controller. He could say yes. …He could say no. …He could say plenty. …or he could just agree. …my fear is that once the enormity of it all sinks in. ..He could do a runner. ….if I saw myself approaching I’d run too…To another country (if I could afford my passport renewal fee)….never mind anything else.
I am still so ashamed and disappointed with myself…..I’ve done thousands and thousands. …
Haven’t had a holiday for years and this disease and all the stress it’s causing me has put years on me. ..
I used to be “such good fun”….now I’m basically a recluse. …I’ve fallen out with everyone. …I think I do it on purpose just to hurt myself. …These people don’t need a constantly broke friend in their lives. ..
Always having to say I can’t afford this. …and I can’t afford that. ..
I’ve even cashed in the jar of coppers.
The garden’s a jungle. …The house looks decrepit. …
Good luck to the new owners when it gets repossessed.