Hi, thank you for your replies. Velvet, I have read your posts all over this forum, I would like to thank you on behalf of everyone here for your dedication to being supportive to us all… You are clearly an amazing person.
My CG is 28. We were together for 2 years. We are different than most people. We are both highly intelligent and socially awkward. We clicked right away. He lives in another country from me. My finances are 100% safe from his gambling. I can walk away from this only have wasted 2 years, but without losing anything but time and energy.
I was with a previous ex for 7 years, he had a drug addiction. I have that kind of heart that doesn’t want to walk away from someone in need, until I know for sure that I cannnot help them. My ex and I actually surprised a lot of counselors, he was addicted to opiates, and the recovery he would get with me was almost as effective as rehab. But opiates are near impossible to deal with, and eventually we had to stop trying and just let him go hit his rock bottom.
I have a lot of knowledge on this area. I enjoy researching, and specifically like learning about the brain. I understand the effect that gambling has on his dopamine production, and that he has actually acquired a need for gambling in order to provide him with the required levels of dopamine for survival. I understand that while he will not die if he quits gambling, that his brain may think he will, subconsciously. I know that the need for survival is greater than any will power. It is like trying to stop breathing.
Knowing everything I know, part of me thinks I should just be patient while he does his thing. When he crashes it will hurt and he will want a way out. Is there any way that it is okay to stand by his side as his friend until he crashes and then take action the same as i would when my ex would come down from his drugs?