Dear diary,
I didn’t understand what was really happening previously
I only knew the outcome was a familiar one nobody wanted
How many times have I regretted such decisions after it has happen
Why can’t I manage these kind of situations like any normal person
I could not even describe my feeling properly until now
I realized that I was first hurt by something I heard or see that happen to me.
My reaction was describe as an aggressive one from the reading, but a natural one, either I fight back or I flee . I didn’t know anger or dangerous situation releases adrenaline
My reaction was so quick
I say and do things I regretted later
It was due to the adrenaline rush
It speed up the body system which is a natural body defence mechanism
This awareness gives me hope now
When there is stress and no actual danger, and I am feeling restless and irritable, it was because the adrenaline causes the body to release glucose, raising blood sugar, and giving the body energy that has no outlet.
or
Prolonged and heightened levels of the hormone can put enormous pressure on the heart muscle and high levels of adrenaline in the blood can lead to insomnia and jittery nerves, and are often an indicator of chronic stress
I read that I can now exercise to use up these extra energy.
Now I must learn to recognize the time when I am hurt, so that I will be prepared for what is coming. Now I know it is not unexpected, my defence mechanism will be triggered, I will have a strong and powerful feeling to fight back or flee, it has overwhelmed me many times in the past.
I read that I should take a step back now, until I regain my calmness ad composure, if I rush to fix it, I am falling for the same trap.
It is key that I understand the hurt feelings that underlie the anger. The hurt of not getting what I want is about recovering from frustration and learning to delay gratification.
There was stress from not getting what I want in the past, and there was never a real danger many times but my aggressive reaction of fighting back just failed me everytime. It has caused me one too many regrets.
I should have been trained to take a step back and not fight back naturally.
When I feel frustration, I need to understand what is happening, and potential anger will melt away and solution can be found more patiently.
Soothing words offer comfort while limit setting with acceptance.
One more time, then it is time to “ walk away “ until next time. Such empathy is more likely to minimize anger and facilitate cooperation. The anger goes away.
On the contrary, if we force ourselves to walk away suddenly and unexpectedly without acceptance and letting go, It is more likely to aggravate frustration and anger, the anger remains.
Empathy for the hurt feelings and patient are always wiser than getting into a meaningless fight.
Am I thankful for the discovery and possible cause with regards to my restless and irritable days or period of insomnia and jittery nerve?
I was relieved to know that it has something to do with adrenaline.
It just give me one less reason to shift blame to other things etc. withdrawal symptoms, mood swings
I was wrong to find relief in alcohol or slot machine., it was insanity.
I can now take the advice to exercise and use up the excess energy or I can see a doctor for the insomnia.