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#52820
Monica1
Participant

Ok, this probably won’t help you but as you asked:
I was 55 when I developed a gambling addiction.
It all started innocently enough playing bingo whilst recovering from major surgery for kidney cancer, avoiding the slots, having an early 2k win on a scratch card, and then graduating to the evil slots 3 months later.i had gone back to work two months after surgery, was still unwell and had to take another two to three months off. Work had always been my refuge.
My partner left me physically and emotionally when I came out of hospital which lasted for years until he moved out at my request after counselling. We have subsequently got back together and it is completely different to what it was
I lost my faith in God and started to self destruct
I had supported many people in life, including my family but this was not always reciprocated. I was always the one that people turned to for help but had very little help myself. So that was unbalanced and I was questioning as to whether life was worth living.
It was an existential crisis of faith and of life itself in that I felt that very little had worked out well in my life, it had had a lot of trauma and unhappiness aside from work, which was my refuge.
Bye the bye, I do not feel that way any more and have not for a long time. I worked through recovery. I prayed to god for help and I got it although it wasn’t easy for the first few months, I was ill physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is far more balance in my Iife now, although not perfect.
Incidentally, you can just ask God to help you, there is nothing special about it. Talk to Him as you would a trusted friend, because that is indeed what He is. Just my take, it can be your higher power, however and whatever you believe that to be.