I don’t know whether i’m sorry that you are seeing this side of his personality or not. I am however sorry that you’ve been hurt again by his words that may be very genuine or may have been placed knowing that you would find them. Do not ever forget that this addiction is the master of manipulation.
I don’t really know if i’m surprised or not that he has ignored the advice he was given regarding contact with the outside world either, if not a little astounded at the internet access. I think as Monique says – it is about him and says quite a lot about him.
Is this the first time you have witnessed him behaving in this way or is it just that you are beginning to see the situation with a sharper, less tainted pair of eyes ?
I don’t like the phrase baggage but seeing as it has been used I would urge you to consider just how much ‘baggage you have been carrying around’ that didn’t belong to you in the first place ? The worry, the stress, the things you have done for him and the lengths you have gone to to make it right. It seems like a very big bag too me and if you value yourself in the way that you say you do then perhaps its time for you to empty some of the crap out of it, and that is all I have to say about bags.
I wouldn’t waste my time with the daily lies Neecy, i’m not sure whether you mean past or present ones? they are the tools to protect the addiction and gain enablement the individuality of each lie is almost irrelevant.
Now is the time for you to concentrate on the latter half of your post and the things you still have that are good in your life and there are the beginnings of some boundaries appearing in your posts that as they become a little firmer will help you in your recovery.
I suggest you steer clear of his recovery and concentrate on yours as that is the only one you have within you to make happen.