Hi all

Getting ready for another trip and CG is freaking out – making me freakout. He doesn’t really want to go bc it won’t be “fun for him” (its kids amusement park trip) but we are also seeing my daughter compete for 5 days – i don’t know why he has to be so selfish and just think about him – he is an **addict** is the answer, ding, ding ding!

To Update:
He came back from his trip to UK and according to him he was sober **except** when he got on the plane and **only** played 5 hands of blackjack. He didn’t understand why i was so upset…He later agreed it wasn’t a good way to break his sobriety and says he is back on the wagon. I find it hard to believe he didn’t do any other gambling over there – it is so hard to believe anything that he says..

He is also mad that I still can’t sleep in the same bed as him (due to him being inappropriate to me while i slept). We have been sleeping part and not intimate for 7 months and I still feel afraid of him if I were to sleep with him. Almost like PTSD. (Yes we have been to multiple therapist since this has been going on – on and off for 6 years). He says he is feeling resentful towards me, and while I totally get I need to focus on me and the kids needs how are we supposed to go on this 10 day family vacation without having it ruined by his selfishness??

I am having a really hard time – I am so anxious I can’t even pack – we leave tomorrow am! I want us to go and have fun but it seems like all he can think about is why he can’t sleep with me (physically and otherwise) and why we are spending all this money taking our “ungrateful kids” to this theme park (hint: think Mouse)……I have been so patient with him, trying to support him while keeping my distance and doing stuff for myself. But I don’t see how our FAMILY can have a nice time if our CG is all pissy and moody because he isn’t getting what he wants – it will upset the kids, they will know…he will ruin everything….

Does anyone have any advice as to how I handle this?? We leave in the early am and I want my kids to enjoy and have fun –

It seems like my CG always does something to ruin any special time – birthdays, anniversaries, trips, mothers day, etc he always is in a **mood** – I supposed because it is not about him. I wanted this to be a special time for all of us but he never wanted to go – I can’t see why he wouldn’t give some of himself (time, waiting around, $$$) so his kids could be happy…

Well, I supposed I should try and pull myself up and start parking…all I can do is take care of me and the kids..

any advice how to handle the next 10 days is much appreciated….