It is hard to think clearly when we are caught up in addiction – but what you have written is the sort of thing I would have said 30 years ago (although my betting wasn’t on-line.)
I think we have all tried “controlled betting” – what if I only bet to a certain amount, only on one game / machine, only until I win, only if the day has a “S” in it. As you know none of that works and eventually we plunge back into the betting, losing, chasing, more losing pattern that we know so well.
How do we get free? You’ve attempted one thing – which is losing access to gambling – renew your efforts with gambling blocks – GAMSTOP and Gamban. You could try applying for a new credit card (cut up the old one) and scrubbing out the 3 digit code on the back before you remember it – so that it can’t be used on-line.
I think the main thing you need to confront is sharing with someone. I noticed that your gambling started after a “traumatic event.” Gambling is a great way to blot out pain; my guess is that once you stop gambling all the emotions will come up again and I think you need support to deal with them. If you are in the UK, Gamcare https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/our-treatment-offer/ provide counselling on a one-to-one or group basis – or you could try talking to your GP. You may also consider opening up to a family member or trusted friend who could listen without judgement. There are also self-help groups like GA – who again will listen to what you have to say and probably give some locally based advice. https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/
Others on here may have different advice – take on board what works for you – but do get good support for yourself.