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#52448
MurrS7
Participant

It’s good to hear that you are 7 days clean again. Trust me this is a tough battle as you know and there will be relapsing while we are in recovery. I started my journal over a year ago and the only reason why I started it is because of relapsing and losing, I’m pretty sure people don’t come in these forums when they’re winning lol. So when I started my journal I think I probably relapsed 6-7 times , each one worse than the previous until I lost every penny to my name. i think you are just as fed up as I was and you really want to change and live gamble free. The cycle is so vicious and just when we think we have beaten it, it comes back and sucks us right back In. But really how many times can we go through it before we say enough is ebough, I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. everything you have Been through in life makes you stronger and really makes you who the person you are today at this very moment. you can take on whatever life throws at you after you have been through these trauamatic experiences verses someonody who hasn’t. Sometimes I wish I never got into this evil addiction but other times I try to look at it as it makes us so much stronger once we make it out on top. I can tell just by reading your reply to me that you truly don’t want to go through this any longer. I believe you have what it takes to stop and never look back. I believe in you and you should believe in yourself too. You can do this. I am 41 days gamble free today and feel much better, like I said my last relapse wiped me clean of every available fund to my name, maxed out cc,line of credit, overdraft, and unemployed. I had to ask my parents to loan me some Money in which they helped me once again, but this time is different I feel clarity and peace and never want to feel the wrath of a gambling hangover again, I know you don’t either. Please be kind to yourself and gentle with how you speak to your mind in these hard times, positive thoughts go a long way when we are struggling with this addiction , I know easier said than done. Also, don’t get discouraged when people don’t reply to your thread. these journals are for to vent , and write down our feelings and emotions On A daily, weekly, monthly, heck even hourly basis. Do this for you! you can and you will. It’s good to hear from you and I wish you well. onwards and upwards. 

god bless.