#3705
dcor
Participant

Sorry if I’m missing things, using a comp with a really small screen, so cutting it a little short today… will try and provide a fuller response later.

Velvet, thank you (and all the others as well!!) for your time. No, I don’t have concrete proof that she is gambling… but I do have dates and times, where she has withdrawn money from an ATM. The address that shows up on the bank statement isn’t where it is located, so I asked our bank. They got in touch with their technical folks, and that ATM is registered to one of the gambling shops around here (Is that legal that the address is wrong? I asked the business for the address that shows up, and they say they have no association with the gambling shop)

Anyhow, the ATM times show up, sometimes 15 minutes apart, for anywhere from 40 to 300 dollars, sometimes 3 within 20 minutes, for totals that sometimes top 600$ a day. Sometimes, her account was negative before the first withdrawl, and that just drags it further under. Sometimes it’s a couple weeks in between, sometimes, it’s 8 days in a row, every single day, with 3 or more every day. The only way I can interpret that is, gambling, or sitting there with people who are, and loaning them money. In either case, it’s come close to costing us everything.

Last year, I received some money from a relative that passed away, and we had to use all of it (over 5K) to get caught up on bills. I was hoping to use that for something specific, but no way at that time. We paid the bills with it, and got everything almost current…. THEN, over the next 3 months, at that single ATM, there were over 4000$ in withdrawls again, and we’re almost back where we started, and that money from my aunt basically got flushed. I don’t want to say that the money was that big a deal in and of itself, but it is. My aunt that passed wouldn’t be happy that it got run away like that, and that tears me up more than losing the money itself. (I was hoping to have eye surgery with it, to get rid of my glasses, and my aunt would have definitely preferred that instead)

We got into it pretty bad last week, she said she was going out with friends, and I asked about her account (she opened a new one, I don’t have access to). She says she isn’t going gambling, and that I can trust her when she tells me that. I said I want to trust her, but that that’s exactly what she told me before, how do I know this time is different? Show me the bank account, so I can see that there aren’t ATM pulls at the gambling shop… she says… “I’m not playing that game. I told you I’m telling the truth, that should be enough”

I want it to be, but it isn’t. I’m trying to get a handle on the bills, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to get things caught up, and keep them paid. Our son’s car just had some issues, so he wants to replace it, but just started a job, and needs a cosigner. I’m scared to do that, when I don’t even know if I can pay the bills we already have, but I don’t want to hang him out without a car.

On top of all of that, my wife’s (I guess I can still use that term, legally….) wedding ring has been sitting on the dresser for days.

That hurts a lot, but at the same time, I’m wondering if that isn’t such a horrible thing…. and that hurts even more thinking like that.