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but to me this is relevant and explains why working on yourself is so important. It’s written by Melanie Tonia Evans and although she primarily deals with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and Relationships, she also explains why people turn to addictions of all sorts, why people abuse and why people let themselves be abused. However, if you can reach this state by working on yourself, you will be not be affected by people and their addictions/problems.

Why is it so important to enjoy being alone with ourselves.

1) If you are needy and lonely you are dependent on others to grant you good feelings.

2) If you feel empty you are at risk at tolerating abuse in order to try to receive love, attention or approval.

3) You will hold others responsible for not ‘giving you yourself’.

4) You may cling to others when they don’t ‘give you yourself’.

5) You are not free to interact healthily and lovingly with people from a mature, developed, stable adult centre.

The bottom line…it is impossible to be in a healthy relationship with anyone else until you have mastered a relationship with yourself.