Ok deep breaths then xinstory. We know you are hurting, we all had that pain. Now which bits of the advice you have been getting can you put in place?
You were here in 2012 and would have had similar advice. You were here in 2013 and would have got similar advice. Now, no one can changer what happened in the past but you now have to decide what things you can put in now which will mean you will be posting here and gamble free in 2016/2017…. or returning and wishing you had acted sooner.
I hope you make the right choice and look forward to hearing about the positive steps you are taking.