OMG! This is so true and brings back so many emotions from the past that are still there actually. My brother had and maybe still has issues. But the real problem was he was never left to deal with consequences or thought to deal with life and its problems. Dad always bailed him out everytime he got in trouble with the law. Dad paid his lawyer even most recently as last year again because my brother is just not normal. I cant even get into the details but outside of dysfunctional family dynamics, he also began experimenting with drugs at an early age, hung out with the wrong friends, skipped school, partied too much and on and on. My brother s excuse was he was going to “live his life” and that no one was going to stop him. Keep in mind it also meant fear for our lives. My brother would physically hurt and intimidate us. I could not wait to leave that house and the resentment I had for my parents always forgetting how bad he would get in between his fix that I moved out for a while when I finally could afford to do so. I dont know too much about what he is doing now because he has 2 kids of his own and has to work 2 or 3 jobs to make rent alone and cant even afford car insurance due to all his wreckless driving history that he might have to move back into parents basement. I used to cry and feel stuck and pray every single night as I held on to the keys to my car so he wouldnt take away again the only thing I had to my name. I eventually got tired of praying for him to “get better” after years of all this.
Now that I am not living in the house I feel more safe physically even tho I watch my mouth every time he is around because he is like an explosion ready to happen so everyone (parents- mostly dad) still cater to him. Anyway enough ranting from me. But it is so true that a sibling gets neglected, pushed aside and told verbally or thru actions that they just arent that important. This tells a child, a sibling of a CG that they are not that valued or they must simply have issues and act out in order to get attention, which in turn is sure to create issues in the other children, no matter what. It just isnt fair to ignore aiblings. It is even more important that siblings and all parties share and communicate. for CG to get the right help a family must first be united and come together and address issues in a fair way. Otherwise its a cycle that will never end.