Well I am official on the one month mark:)
Something I am very happy and proud about but I am aware that I have a large hill to climb yet. Not saying I am not congratulating myself on this, it’s a huge day. The sad thing is I have been here and fell down the hill below sea level before.
I feel like this time my mind is in a different place this time. Last times I have tried I just stopped and thought that was good enough. This time I am on a mission for my soul. To find answers to myself and my life mission. I feel like I am a different person then I was a month ago. I also know I have more soul searching to do and I am determined to meet the new person I am still becoming.
On a side note, I am experiencing hard times like everyone else. I am feeling the extreme stress of putting myself in a financial burden around Christmas time and adding to the debt to buy gifts which I am feeling as a pointless propaganda holiday. Anyways I am also telling myself if I don’t gamble and this time next year things will seem so free and easy. Instead of like years past when I would feel this stress and burden I would gamble to try and free up funds further putting myself in the whole. This year I will not be beat by that same mind set. I am kicking every days ass. I feel empowered by fighting urges and giving myself pats on the back for every single day I fight the addiction.