P you really are amazing and I admire you so much. You are tenacious and never give up fighting this addiction. I think you have to think of how much gamble free time you have achieved by coming to GT and GA and counseling. I know for me I had to surrender and accept that I am powerless over those slot/vlt machines. It is strange when your sane brain is working and not your addiction brain you think it is just random where they stop, but how many times I sat there saying it was due to pay out. Praying that I would get “my money” back, asking someone to watch “my machine” until I ran to the ATM to get more cash because it was ready to pay out!!! The devastation, tears, hatred when I had to leave the Casino having lost too much money and not able to win my own back. Chasing those losses again and again. The outcome was always the same every time I went. We deserve a life free of gambling P, and it is not easy some days, hours, minutes, but we will continue to fight for a gamble free life!!!!
