Dear diary,
Today I must remember that my recovery will fail if I only attend church, read the Bible and listen to God‘s word but do not follow them.
We are liars if we claim to be Christians but don’t obey. It’s in the Bible, I John 2:4, TLB.
“Someone may say, ‘I am a Christian; I am on my way to heaven; I belong to Christ.’ But if he doesn’t do what Christ tells him to, he is a liar.”
Today I must remind myself that I have tumble and fall many times in the past because I only read about the 12 steps program and share, I was not willing to follow the steps and do the hardwork.
Today I must remember that my unrealistic expectation on myself and others is not going to help my recovery. Life is not perfect, people are not perfect.
There are going to be good days in recovery but be prepared and get ready, there will be some hard or suffering days in recovery.
It doesn’t matter if anyone feel that I am lowering the standard, I don’t wish to set myself up for failure by having unrealistic expectations. I am a recovering person, I seek progress in my recovery, not perfection.
Recently, my frequent impatience with God, people, my finance and recovery have caught my attention, it highlight and shows that I actually love myself more than anyone, I love money and the material comfort, enjoyment it can bring me more than anything else. I am not willing to tolerate and endure shame, humiliation, hardship, pain, stress and suffering. I need to seek and get closer to God, I need to know God better.
I have belittled waiting too, I never thought that waiting was something hard.
After the experience last year, I do feel excited about year 2016. The reward is great.
In 2015, I have experience and realized the truth mentioned in the promises of God and the 12 steps recovery program.
It really works!