I think GA for F&F and this forum is still important for me. It provides the reminder and encouragement after an upset or disappointment, and keeps my head out of the sand and in reality. Like I said in the prior post, I am relearning.
After a discouraging argument/discussion last night, I have to remind myself to let go and let him go his way. There is equal freedom in this for me. I have every right to set ground rules around the kids and he has every right to make the wrong decisions for himself. I also have the right to make decisions for me that benefit me. Not worrying about how a decision will affect him is kind of nice. I am no longer keeping a limited amount of money on his card. I told him I did not like being responsible for his money and repayment of his bills so I was no longer doing it. I am only taking an agreed upon portion from his account to help pay for the house, utilities, groceries etc and he is responsible for how he spends the rest including the debts he owes. This ensures everything that is relative to me and the kids is taken care of; and he is in charge of his own mess. I am curious to see how he will handle it; this is a new change within this past week.
He is also taking a trip to see his sister this weekend and I was informed with or without me. I will admit his attitude bothers me, but I will not be intimidated into doing something that is not good timing for me. So I told him I would love to go to spend the time with him, but I had to see how much progress I made on the house and projects this week. I am having a graduation party for my daughter and there are a ton of things which have been let go around the house and I am now tackling. I do have the tendency to be too work oriented, but this is important to me, therefore a huge priority.
I am not a person that puts herself first. So this different thought process of what do I want is new to me and a little uncomfortable. And oddly enough, Mr. BB, whether he knows it or not, is responsible for instigating my new putting me first attitude. If he can do it, why can’t I?
My progress this is week is continuing to move forward without him, even though I have looked backward a couple times. It does feel good to cut out the stress that he can bring.