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The difference between now and my past gambling experiences was my mindfulness today.

I have a higher awareness and the ability to see myself progressively falling sick and becoming more obsessive, impulsive, and compulsive as it happened.

The heavy damage was done to my winning run of 12K. I have lost 5K and later lost another 3k in a losing streaks before I stop. I could see the remaining 4K winning disappearing too if I continue gambling.

The nightmare of borrowing to gamble will start, and a new mountain of unmanageable debt would be created.

I need to discontinue the gambling now and prevent further damage done before it destroyed my life completely.

The real damage was already done to my health mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.

I was losing my sleep and my focus on God, family and my job.

I lost my freedom; I became a slave trapped in chasing the winning and losing in gambling.

I am losing the same peace and joy that I had when I live simply or have little or nothing.

There is only one ending for a still compulsive gambler like me if I continue gambling all the way. It is a life full of destruction, pain and suffering. I don’t want that!

The disease of addiction and my need to gamble is an illness, it does me harm and affect the normal function of my life.