#2060
nomore 56
Participant

Hi Crossroads,  Crystal really summed it up well for you. The most important thing for you right now is to protect yourself, meaning protect the money. You said that you didn’t want to ruin Christmas but I suspect that it was ruined anyway because of what you learned about his gambling. I also think that this might be only the tip of the ice berg and that he tapped into other resources to finance his addiction.  I’m saying this because it took me along time to really find out about the complete amount of damage my hb had done. He only admitted in increments. And only when I found something out or he knew he couldn’t hide it any longer. The best support you can give your bf is to get some peace of mind yourself and to look for your own support system. Do you have someone you can talk to honestly about what is happening? Did you consider attending a GamAnon group yet? It is really difficult to deal with this addiction while you are still busy trying to sort everything out and most of all while being worried about finances. If your bf is really ready and willing to get some help he will not object to you handling all the money and to hand over receipts for every penny he spends. At least that was always a clear indicator for me that my husband was either close to a relapse or it had already happened. Putting his money in your account will probably not take the temptation away. The addiction is alive and kicking and will just come up with another harmful way to find money to gamble. **** swings and what you describe as a fiery temper can also be a symptom of the addiction taking over. My hb was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and put on medication. He never took or needed another pill from the day he went to inpatient treatment. Most importantly don’t threaten anything you are not willing to go through with, just like Crystal said. I wish you well and hope that you find a way to not lose yourself in this insane battle. That is the best support you can give your bf as well as yourself.
— 03/01/2013 21:17:37: post edited by Velvet.– 04/01/2013 14:31:52: post edited by Velvet.