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Hi Kathryn,
here I am, always catching up.  I am feeling blessed to have had some time on the computer this afternoon not in complete pain.    Going to  have to soon file a complaint with the fairy office.  Those pesky fairies are just not showing up to do their jobs.  The bottomless bank account fairy who refills the account,  my house cleaning fairies have been missing for quite some time. 
Sometimes those fellows of ours just don’t want to change.  And when we change things just don’t stay quite the same for them, like it or not.  Be proud that you could look Dames in the eye and say that you haven’t touched a penny to gamble in the last year. If he has never been responsible for the money he has no idea how much it truly costs to run a household.  My hubby is learning that lesson as well. So many positives have come out of your "discussion".  Not to mention some sort of financial counselling is an awesome idea.
Take a deep breath and keep taking it one day at a time. Oh and hope that computer is fixed soon!  Miss ya but understand too that we each have to find balance in our lives.
Take care K