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Hi Kathryn, just checking in as I promised earlier this week – how are you doing now?  Sorry it’s so late, but I have been talking with a friend with family issues most of the day- she needed to get out of the house to avoid saying something she would regret!
I’ve noticed that you have lots of support here, and you know you never need to feel alone. That’s the thing really – we shouldn’t try to deal with stuff alone, because often (just when we think we are getting control) life is bigger and more unpredictable than any one person alone can deal with. It looks to me like you are on the right track – remembering what really matters and what doesn’t. Pride, ownership, etc, they don’t matter in the end. Only love and intimacy do. 
I call myself Grace on this site because grace is the quality I aim to develop – and one I think we could all benefit from.
Hold tight, Kathryn, we are beside you.