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#23137
velvet
Moderator

 
Hi Kathryn
I do preface my reply with ‘I don’t know about your husband but as a non-CG the following is my take on your post’.
I have only ever been in a casino once. It was seedy and strange and I have no desire to go back. It seems that nowadays though they are places where friends go for an evening. Did you husband go with a crowd of mates and feel he could not be the one to be left out?   The sheep instinct is common with a lot of people and you have risen above that but maybe he feels he doesn’t have to make the effort. Maybe he feels his actions harmless.   
Is it his lie that has hurt you or is it the fact he has gambled?
Have you asked him not to gamble?
Do you feel he should stand shoulder to shoulder with you?
I am trying to understand why he did it and also why you are so upset. I think he can be interested, I think he can care but he hasn’t got the addiction and maybe thinks ‘why not?’ It is not my way but that is me.
I think if it is a lie about gambling that has upset you – maybe you should ask him why he lied rather than why he gambled! Don’t go berserk but listen.  Allow him to tell you if he felt weak.  If you descend on him like a ton of bricks you will never find the truth and if there is another time it will be hidden x
Don’t let this damage you. You have been through too much and succeeded.   
How did you get on with Bailey? I hope it was a successful meeting for both of you
Love as Ever
V xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx