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Hi All,
Ive been a bit down in the dumps.  I got home from work last night and Damian told me he had rang Fester.  She told him that she had only recieved 1 swab when she should have got 2 so she contacted them and they had sent her another one and she was sending it all off today.  Thats not why i was upset.
Damian then proceeded to tell me that she had asked about me, how i was, and he was very sketchy with the rest.  He said she always asked how i was????? That set me off, i said ‘last time she contacted you it was by sms’ and he said ‘yes thats right’, then got all snippy with me.  When i asked what was wrong he said he was sick of talking about it.
So heres my point… i am feeling that i am being deliberately left out of the loop here.  I am getting paranoid that all these little conversations are going on behind my back (which he denies) and i feel i cant ask him anything without him getting ****ty when i know damn well that when hes on the phone to Fester he is being all charming and nice.
Anyway, he went to bed, i had a good chat to Harry and felt somewhat better.  I rang him this morning and said i wanted to ask him a question about the phone call last night without him getting ****ty with me.  I asked what he had said when Fester asked how i was.  He said that i was slowly coming to terms with things and asked my why i wanted to know.  I told him about how i felt, and how i needed to know what was being said, for my own sanity and reassurance (im not threatened by her at all in a ‘he likes her’ way) but i need to know what is being said.  He said he would fill me in on the whole conversation when he got home from work, and its not me he’s crabby at.
Now, i do know all this, i know its a touchy subject but i am trying soooo hard to be accepting and even though i may come across as the lovely wife, i am struggling with it. Now i know that the test results are proboably about 10 days away, im feeling a bit sad about it all.  Maybe its just a bad day on my part, but i know what im feeling is there, im feeling it and i cant help feeling it regardless of what i know….that we will be ok.
Have a great day everyone,
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time