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Just catching up on the Fester saga (lol).  That name just makes me smile, although I know the situation is far from funny.  I know what an agonizing time this must be.  It has upset your world, regardless of the results.  I have a suggestion…don’t know whether it will help or not.  I am not a particularly great communicator in intimate relationships – and when my ex and I were going through a stressful time, I suggested that we keep a journal together.  I would write what I was feeling, and he would as well.  No judgement, just our thoughts laid out for each other to see.  It worked out very well, we actually kept it for a couple of years.  It may not have solved the real issue (poor communication), but at least we were on the "same page" as it were.  You, Dames and Brea are in my thoughts Kathryn, because I believe there is so much love there.