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Hi Kathryn:  Now is the time to be good to yourself, not to sabotage yourself.  Can you imagine how awful you’d feel if you were to gamble on top of all that is going on?  Online gambling is certainly not all it’s cracked up to be.  After the first time I banned, I also thought about it.  But then I actually tried it and lost hundreds and hundreds (probably thousands, but I’m trying to let it go).  I put Gamblock on my main computer and only have the laptop unprotected b/c hubby still likes to have a go at poker on weekends. If it puts your mind at ease, you get exactly the same sick feeling as you do at the casino after you’ve lost … the only minor "positive" is you don’t have to drive home.  You never really walk away with anything.  Even if you do, you’re right back it the next day.  So, no great shakes … same old, same old.
I’m proud of myself today.  I had to work on the laptop, b/c my husband was using my office.  He went out midway through the day and forgot I had access to the laptop.  I was alone, and I definitely thought about using just $50 for a quick few spins.  Before I could go even one second further down that road, I shut down the computer.  My husband has it password protected, so I couldn’t log back on.
Kathryn, you’re at a critical crossroad in your life.  Be kind to yourself. I know it’s sometimes hard to remember how to be good to ourselves (and we believe gambling is a "treat" that we’re missing).  Give yourself something special for all the time you’ve been gamble free.  Honour yourself and your hard work and get that betfilter on before you’re tempted again.  
I’m thinking of you and wishing you the very best.
RG This moment is all we really have.  Be happy in it.