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I know you said you ‘are not going there today" but I haven’t had a chance to post for awhile.  I think Fester should be cut out of the picture.  Sasha should text your husband not Fester. Sasha is old enough to visit your family alone.    …of course, that is assuming the DNA matches.  Fester should not be involved in any way. It would be different if Sasha was younger but she is old enough that she doesn’t need her mother beside her all the time.  My first husband had been married and he had a son.  Everytime we picked him up his ex-wife would have to come out and talk. She called the house whenever my step son was there.  He decided to live with us his last few years of High School. I felt like she was always trying to interfer in our family life but didn’t want to cause any waves so I tolerated it. After I filed for divorce, she thought she had a chance with my ex-husband (her ex-husband too), so I guess she always had alterior motives besides the interest of her son…but even being single, the ex tried to stay as far away from her as possible.  If Fester tries to be connected to your husband or your family, your husband needs to set the boundaries.  The attention should be on your family and Sasha and none on Fester. That’s my 2cents.