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#21780
kathryn
Participant

Hi All,
Thank you Vera and Al for your posts.  And thank you for last night…i just needed to sit and read and laugh and try not to think about the news i had just recieved.
So here is is….My husband and i split up for a while (nearly 2 yrs) after we had got married.  Brea was only 2.  We have tried really hard to make it work…and succeeded.  His brother came to see him last night, he had recieved a phone call from a woman, and, thinking it was my husband, she proceeded to tell him that she had a daughter, 15 yrs old and that she is his. 
When i got home from work, he told me that his brother had been to see him..(after he told me to go and light a smoke!!) and he told me the news.  I am totally devastated, so is he.  A one night stand he says, i dont care about that, we were split up and i was no angel myself during that time. 
Apparently the young girl wants to know who her dad is, and rightly so, but the implications for my family are huge.  I dont know how we are going to tell OUR daughter.  I have already looked into DNA testing, my husband needs to ring this woman and talk to her. We need to know for sure before we tell anyone.  I am an emotional wreck, cant stop crying, everytime i look at my kids i cry.  I wanted to be the only woman to have his children.  Up until yesterday, i was. i dont know how to feel…if i ever wanted to gamble it is now. i just dont know what to do.  I rang work and told my boss everything, there was no way i could work today. I look like something out of the swamp.
Luckily my boss was very understanding, i dont have to work again till monday, thank goodness. I dont think i can concentrate giving medications in my state of mind.  I know for some, it is not the worst thing in the world, but this is my world and it has been shattered.  I am broken hearted, my husband thinks im going to leave him which is certainly not the case.  I have worked to hard and to long on our relationship to give it up now. I have told him so…last night i sat and cried and he sat trying to apologise.  It was horrendous.  He is saying he doesnt want anything to do with her, i know that is for my benefit but what about her. I am so torn,  i do understand her wanting to know her dad, but my family comes first.  There is nothing i can do until we have the results. We need to do that and work out what to do from there. 
Thanks for listening, i feel like im in a movie..its so surreal.
Take care,
Kathryn xx
 Fighting the good fight…One day at a time