I would like to add to a point made by Jenny in a post to Sosad that the forums are not a means of communication between CG and non-CG loved ones and it is for this reason I always suggest that non-CGs do not read their loved ones thread. What is wanted more than anything is for a loved one to go into a true recovery, how they do it and who they do it with, is immaterial.
CGs tell lies. CGs in early recovery will still have residual problems with truth but other CGs know that. It is my belief we should allow the CG loved one to obtain their recovery any way that works and if we have not fully entered our recovery then we could, probably unwittingly, give subliminal messages.
In my opinion when F&F are in recovery they have a duty of care to the CG who seeks their recovery. Yes this forum is F&F – but if F&F are seeking their recovery and are aware, as many members have been over the years that their CG can/does read what they have written – then I feel their posts should become more circumspect. I believe this happens naturally when F&F are truly working their ‘own’ recovery. We do have closed groups where it is possible to shoot more from the hip but they are facilitated and therefore any wounds that are opened can hopefully be closed before the end of the session.
My thoughts are, as ever, open to constructive critisism or questioning.