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Hi Larry, It was good to read your thread and it gives me a bit of an understanding of your recovery journey and of your life before that. I was sad to read that you lost your brother so suddenly, and then your niece. I lost my brother tragically in September, 2008, and my gambling intensified after that. To read that you stayed gamble free through that is truly inspirational. I believe that I can stay gamble free one day at a time, but I was telling myself I could do that as long as nobody close to me dies. I didn’t think it was possible to do but now after reading your posts, I see that it can be done. I always appreciate the advice that you give to fellow cgs and rcgs. It is insightful and well thought out, meant to bless them. As delightful as it may have been to live in France with your new family, it had to be difficult for you, leaving everything familiar behind. I’m sorry that it ended the way it did for all of you. 911 will be imprinted in my mind forever. I had just got to work and heard what was happening on the radio. The fear and horror I felt and I was not even an American.  I was sure that this was the beginning of a World War 111. I left work and went home and sat for days watching this nightmare unfold. I can only imagine how traumatizing it was for you to watch this without being there to share in your nation’s grief. We all have regrets, but we need to forgive ourselves, and move on, and I’m trying to do that. I know that I know that I am only one bet away from possibly losing my recovery. Carole