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Originally posted by cat1177

… I know that you said that you left your wife and daughter "for them"…how has their life been better because you are not in it?  Because you believe you would have destroyed them with your gambling?  Or because you believe being an American would have hurt them more than not having a husband and father.  I am just curious – trying to figure that out. … 
Bloom where you are planted.
Hi Cat, my name is Larry and I am a Compulsive Gambler, my last bet was on Aug 13, 2009.
Thanks for your post, I saw your new topic yesterday but didn’t get around to post to you.  I have read your post and find variations to the reasons and outcomes to all of us and our shared problem.  And though our gambling problem is shared, you will find the suggested directions for traveling on our path to successes to be just as varied.  One must-do-action we all have in common is to proceed One Day At A Time.  We need a daily pledge and sincere commitment not to gamble for that day.
To answer your question above:  First, no, their life, nor mine, has not been better by my leaving. I am thankful that they have moved on; I have not, the gambling outgrowth from my depression has prevented me a normal life.
In the part where I mention the concern for my family, I was trying to show the added stress that the resentment toward them put on my already stressed out state, not to imply that I left for their safety.  I ran because I could not deal with my depression and feared for my own life — fear of it ending by my own hand, not by others. I should have sought counseling.
My depression or leaving was not because of my gambling, my compulsive gambling manifested itself later, after an additional stressful event, and continued to grow the following few years. During this period I didn’t bother with trying to get back with my wife, I was lost in the world of gambling and the relief it gave.  I see now that therapy for this depression, would have eliminated my "need" for leaving, and may have even prevented my gambling compulsion; or brought it’s dormant tendencies out during that counseling and allowed me to address it before gambling took over my life.
Thanks for giving me the opening to vent some more.
Best of wishes and God’s speed on your journey. 

"Day Two is Still a Day Away" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will not have to relive a Day 2.
— 10/4/2009 12:48:57 PM: post edited by paul315.– 10/4/2009 12:50:50 PM: post edited by paul315.