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#21056
vera
Participant

Hi Larry,
Well done on passing the two month mark. The Key to Recovery is a thoughtul idea. Never heard of it before.
Thanks for posting to my thread. As Harry rightly pointed out on ZigZag’s thread,anxiety about debt, has a negative effect on REAL recovery.
If my debt was wiped out I feel, I’d be free. It is soul-destroying to have my salary passing through my account into repayments. On the otherhand, if it were still passing through my account to slot machines, it would be so much worse.
I’ve been thinking of the positives!
1.I have a well paid job.
2 I never missed a payment because of the "standing order" set up with the bank.
3. Every month (when I don’t gamble), my payments are one less. The loans are based on a 60 month period.
The negatives are,
1. My repayments are too high.
2.The government levies are increasing, so working overtime is no longer a solution.
3. The stress of owing money is driving me crazy.
As you say, directing my anger towards gambling is better than blaming myself or the banks.
I will have to try another route to consolidate though, even if it takes longer to repay. The credit union are considering my application but want me to build my shares up to 12 grand! Not a hope!
I found a Mortgage company that will allow us to re mortgage but, since my husband was the one to pay off every penny of our mortgage by hard work, I feel it would be very unfair of meto ask him to give up his mortgage free status.
He really does not see gambling as an illness and cannot understand how anyone in their right mind would put money into a machine and expect to get it back again.
He goes crazy over the credit card debt and says " so what" that I am paying almost all my salary. " You can’t have your cake and eat it " is his attitude, so "pay up and shut up"!
I do blame him partly for my dilemma because I begged him about 4 years ago to help me quit. I went to GA and asked him to go to GAM ANON but he said it was my problem, not his. I begged him to hold my ATM card. He "forgot" and gave it back. I asked him to come for walks, meals, cinema , short holidays etc, but he did so with such derision that the lack of enjoyment would drive a miser to gambling.I think he prefers me to gamble!
So, until I get my finances sorted, I will continue with a " stinted" form of recovery!
Better than gambling all the same!
 all the sevens