Also posted on the "FOR VERA" thread.
Re: FOR VERA
Originally posted by vera
"… He really does not see gambling as an illness and cannot understand how anyone in their right mind would put money into a machine and expect to get it back again.
He goes crazy over the credit card debt and says " so what" that I am paying almost all my salary. " You can’t have your cake and eat it " is his attitude, so "pay up and shut up"!
I do blame him partly for my dilemma because I begged him about 4 years ago to help me quit. I went to GA and asked him to go to GAM ANON but he said it was my problem, not his. I begged him to hold my ATM card. He "forgot" and gave it back. I asked him to come for walks, meals, cinema , short holidays etc, but he did so with such derision that the lack of enjoyment would drive a miser to gambling.I think he prefers me to gamble! …"
all the sevens
I am sitting here reading the part of your post to me about your husband and a couple of things come to mind (not counting my thinking about how much time I spend being logged-on). First, your disappointments in his reactions to your situation is shared with us in a civil way; Opposed to some remarks that seam to lean toward "spouse bashing" — afterall, we did force our spouses, friends and family members into having to react to and live with our lifestyle choices. Perhaps your disappointment in his attitude is based on your need for support; and his reactions may be "tuff love" or self preservation. Whatever the difference, keep working it out together.
My last statement leads into my second thought on your remarks. While reading the post here I am taking a break from compiling the last of the documents needed for me to file for an unwanted but necessary divorce, you on the other hand, have someone still with you – keep working it out together.
As I have written before, gambling was not the cause of our separation, but my succumbing to the escape from the causes that gambling offered, did contribute heavily to our forthcoming divorce. I wasted far too much time being away from both our home and our problems, while acquiring and giving into my selfish gambling compulsion, to allow for any conciliation. I guess you can say that I gambled my life away — there is a whole lot more then money that we allow gambling to take from us. Things that cannot be replaced or paid off in a year or two.
Keep on your journey to a gambling free life. When only two of the sevens appear, this is one place where you can and must keep trying.
Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Away" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will not have to relive a Day 2.