MONTH 3 – DAY 2
In writing about my one month milestone, I first posted comments on the day before. For the second, I followed up with a post on the day after. To day I will also fellow up on yesterday’s post, but in a different tone then the one in October. (It is obvious that Day 2 has a significant association to my recovery, but I have again evolved into a more positive view of it -I now close my post with "Day Two is another day behind" instead of the "Still a day away" in past closings and in my topic title; I was going to close this topic and start a new one with the "day behind" change but realize that there are more changes to come, so I will just stick with this old one.)
This morning I was reading the email, Today’s Gift – 11/14/2009, from Kin L. The last line of his reflections: "…Today I will be gentle with myself, knowing that I’m exactly where I need to be – free.", reminded me of a time some years ago when a friend was going through Primal Scream therapy. She had me read a few books on the process to help me understand her feelings – I already understood her, so I guess my reading was more her way of sharing her problems.
In one section of the books, the subject was about the type of life one could have by following this process. She could not understand it when I told her that I did not have to search for that goal, that I was already there – I was free of these primal burdens. At the time I had no idea that my future would hold psychological problems for myself. Now reflecting back, I can see that we (I) can all fall from our life of control into one of turmoil, and how we all need help to overcome it once we fall.
All of this leads to me being able to say that once again I can point to a page in a book that talks about being free and say that at this stage of my life "I am exactly where I need to be – free". I left out the "exactly" adjective of Ken’s post because I know that I have a long way to go. I still need the help of my 3 G’s to stay free and progress further on my journey to return to a better life.. Above I mention the significant association of Day 2 to my recovery, my vague reference to this is progress for me, when I am ready to accept the true meaning of it, I will once again be exactly where I need to be. Until then I will enjoy all the blessings and freedom that has been bestowed upon me, at least the ones that I can manage to hold onto and not throw away.
God’s speed to all my Fellow Gamblers.
"Day Two Is Now, Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will not have to relive a Day 2.
— 11/17/2009 3:09:50 AM: post edited by paul315.