Dear (((Larry)))! When I first started recovery on GT on December 27, 2010, GT was my lifeline to recovery, and I proudly told the addiction counsellor today that I found recovery online. The first person I met was Ken L. and he supported me through private emails and he referred me to Safe Harbour and then to GT. I spent more time on GT than I had gambling. As many of you know, I was an almost daily gambler. I received tremendous support on GT and I believe I gave back a lot of support to others on this site. As I got healthier emotionally, I started this process of eliminating toxic people in my life, starting with the most obvious. I was in the contemplation phase for quite a long time when it came to my relationship of 19 years with Danny. I came to a point where I felt I had no options left but to leave as I could no longer allow myself to be treated with contempt and disrespect. Recovery brought me to this place of putting myself first. I’ve heard it said that recovery is a selfish process, but I couldn’t disagree more. For the first time many rcgs are putting their needs first, instead of self-medicating with destructive behaviors. I see my new life as a jigsaw puzzle and I’m slowly getting the pieces I need put together so that I can have a balanced life with enough structure and support, that I don’t get freaked out about having made a 180 and turned my life completely upside down, at age 58. Oh! I just looked at the puzzle pieces and they don’t include a romantic relationship. Even the thought of it, makes me nauseated! All kidding aside, I know that I am not healthy emotionally enough to be in that kind of relationship. The point of this post was to say that as rcgs get healthier, their lives become fuller with activities that don’t center on gambling, as well as living fulltime on a recovery site. I will always be grateful to the staff on GT and the friends who supported me and continue to support me on this site. I support others as I can, but my emotional energy goes to my own recovery first, and the changes I need to make in my life. I look forward to having a margarita with you sometime, like we did in Chicago. Carole
