You do not have to ask for forgiveness from the F&F branch of this community. I believe that one of the most important lessons we need to learn to move forward is that out loved one has an illness, an illness that is unasked for and unwanted – as much for you as for us.
We vent our anger and frustration because it is important to relieve ourselves because like you we have found a site where we are understood possibly for the first time.
I am indeed sorry that you have lost your loved ones and I am glad that you are able to speak to them. I hear your pain for the death of your brother. I hope you were able to show him that you had committed you life to being gamble-free before he died and that you were friends.
Please don’t beat yourself up unnecessarily. I cannot speak for all but I know that for me the determination for you to live in control of your addiction is a success story that I want to hear. I don’t need to hear what went before – it is enough that you are standing where you are today.
I wish you a Christmas that you will be pleased to remember and a peace in your heart and mind.
Thank you for you good wishes and for popping in the F&F where you will always be welcome.