January 13, 2010 – Five Months Living Gambling Free!
GA doesn’t have a key ring with a particular color for this milestone, so I will use a heading in a color that is a favorite of my granddaughter. But it does not matter that there is a lack of a symbol or color, the achievement to me is just as mindful.
Even after such a relatively short time, it already seems like a lifetime ago that I was held captive by my desperate attempts to satisfy my compulsion. If it wasn’t for the balance of my gambling debts, the gambling desires that creep in on occasion, or the ever present knowledge that I will always be a RCG, and the memory of what gambling did to my life, I would think that I had always lived this now somewhat normal life; normal yet a little different then others. Other lives where one does not have to control ongoing urges or think about the possible lurking harmful ones, or live with the the consequences of giving into past urges. I know that I am not alone in this way of life, that there are many other Fellow Gamblers and many others with different, yet equal, addictions that live the same life; nevertheless, my having to walk down a cautious path makes my now normal life seem a little out of the realm of things.
I am no less happy or secure in my renewed slightly abnormal life, just mindful that the one I escaped from still awaits if I let down my reserve and do not keep aware; if I don’t keep dependent on the help and friendship of my 3 Gs – God, GT, and GA. To this tribunal, I must also add myself, for only we can make the choice not to gamble and must make it One Day AT A Time.
This brings me to another great help, the use of the Topic "The Daily Pledge by justin_SouthAfrica; if any readers of this post happen to follow the ones in those pages as well, you will have noticed the absence of post from Justin. I miss his daily account and pledge and ask that all of you take my hand, as he has asked daily in making his pledge, and join in prayer for his safe return.
Fellow gambler, take my hand;
I’m your friend, I understand.
I’ve known your guilt, your shame, remorse;
I’ve borne the burden of your cross.
I found a friend who offered ease;
He suffered, too, with this disease.
Although he had no magic cure,
He showed how we could endure.
We walked together side by side;
We spoke of things we had to hide.
We told of sleepless nights and debts,
Of broken homes and lies and threats.
And so my weary gambler friend,
Please take this hand that I extend.
Take one more chance on something new,
Another gambler helping you.
God bless you all.
Larry
"Day Two Is Still Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will not face another Day 2.
— 1/13/2010 6:53:20 AM: post edited by paul315.