Dear Lobby Loo,
I was in a similar situation with my father as you know and I knew the ***** when I thought clearly and became strongest against my father ‘s gambling addiction was when I had no contact with him. I had to get myself together and let my father be. No contact PERIOD! No little talks, no texts.
I learned this only gave the addiction false hope and would only torment me because I really didn’t just want a little chat here and there. Of course I had my moments where I wanted to have some contact but I told myself it was not an option and I would only being taking steps back in my recovery. I could not emotionally afford to do this to myself or my little girls.
Yes, I am in contact with my father after two years of estrangement but it is very different. I am immune to the addiction still within him and unfortunately our relationship is not the same but I also realize it could never return to my long ago memories. However, the greatest joy from the craziness I endured with my father and his addiction is that now I am really free of it. I really have no tolerance for it. I know now it is OK for him to side with it but it will never have its grips on me. To me it really doesn’t exist. It has no power over me by using my father. I just laught at it.
Honestly, there is no reason for you to see him one last time and tell him what he already knows. In his state he doesn’t care he just wants to continue his life gambling. I don’t think my father reached rock bottom with all the hardships he had so waiting for it is not a good idea either.
Just know you are doing the best thing for YOU and your son now.
Much love, Twilight
(I believe we get our greatest strength from the hardest obstacles)– 6/3/2011 11:10:44 AM: post edited by Twilight16.