Jenny thank you  very much for posting me.  Sorry for not answering in the right time. I read your post  many ***** and I can feel all the meaning of your answer to me . Thank you for telling me and remind me things that  already happened  to you and protect  me for not doing . I know that from your experience I can learn all the next steps that I will find in front of me .  Jenny I try to listen but I cannot tell that I will always will be able to listen everything or understand everything.  If I want to listen everything and not lose nothing for the communication I must improve me .I realize that his addiction is something that happened in my life and it will change Me . I want to be ok with my self first , I don’t know if me and my cg will succeed but I want if we broke up someday (if) to be a stronger and  a healthier  personality for my child . Like you, you are a stronger person now and a wise woman. Even I am with my cg or not I want to work on me and improve me  to accept all the right and the wrong things that im doing for the addiction . Jenny thank you for teaching me to not allow the addiction to close me down and to not lose the meaning of communication first for myself and then for my cg.
Velvet  your last  post for jenny and me  made me think so much and different things , the key to everything is our defensive attitude. If we go way from this feeling everything then has many chances to succeed.
But For throwing away the  defensive attitude  means that  you must learn not to have complex and have free thought  and not  afraid  the changes in your  life .
Free mind with no judge is the key to get read of the defensive attitudes that addiction causes and not only the addiction but almost everything  in life . But real no judge ,  not just to be polite and say that you will not judge. I know that you understand what  I’m trying to say .
The person velvet with no complex in his attitude  , with free mind with no real judge the others and with always improving him self velvet was my father and is my brother now. I leaved with my father who  only dream was my brother and I to be personalities without complex because that was the key for someoene to succeed in all the chapters in  life  .My brother  teaching me every day when we have a problem to put it in a box and  go out of the box and see the problem from upstairs and try not to have feelings when we are upstairs the box but only free  mind and we will see the solution easily. Always  a third person see  more clear a solution to a problem than someone with feelings . He is teaching me  how we can be the third person for ourselves.

Velvet my life of course with my brother now is always how we can improve our selves from heart. If someone can do this then he is a good person , not in words but in the meaning . I want if I die someone to tell that I was a good person and nothing more than that . I work for this and my brother always teaching me.
But you can understand how difficult is to do this when the slaps of addiction  are hard enough and the feelings is pain after the slamps
Your posts are so wise!
I hope  velvet to understand me , I wrote my thoughts and I don’t know if I can make sense .  with all my love ell,
My cg is smiling and he went to cut his hair and his beard and he feels more NEW now.
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