Dear Ell
Grieving hurts but passes.  
I don’t know if your husband loves you but I do know there is nothing he can do to prove it to you unless you can give him time.
It is the fault of his addiction that you are where you are – an addiction he didn’t want and didn’t ask for. 
Trust takes time – a long time but I ‘know’ it can be renewed.
You are doing so well.  I hope you can soon be as proud of you, as I am.
V– 08/01/2013 19:08:36: post edited by Velvet.