Slow down, I am trying to digest that last post but from what i am reading he is doing all that he can, but both of you will work your recoveries at a different pace. You are being fair – more than fair and if on the odd occaision you lapse into some little ****** then so what – we are not perfect are we.
You may know the cause of the problem but yet you feel it is yours – well I get that because I felt the same way only because if you love someone and you live with them how can it not be your problem to, the only difference I could say is that you cannot solve it for both of you.
There is no need to throw him out or to put up that sort of barrier (unless you want to!!), by barriers I mean financial protection which can help you relax and remove some of the risks for him, not big walls around you fuelled by fear, although I could understand that to.
I see you talk a lot about his recovery and the recovery of your relaitionship but not much about your own recovery. Your fears are important and are very real and no I would not tell you what to do, only what I would do and right now that would be exactly what I am doing now – nothing !! I am just enjoying the company of my partner and not stressing over things that I know I cannot control or change.
Your recovery is important El, your ***** are as important as his, thats not being unfair, but one thing I did learn is that someone who is in early recovery struggles to cope with their own ***** and cannot cope with ours as well. Another good way of supporting him is to be happy by doing the things that make you happy. Your recovery is within you El.
We see things not as they are, but through how we are today x